English


I.
Had those words kept inside my heart
But like a poison slowly killing me
Engulfed in a trance that makes us apart
Confused and dazed in anxiety

I don’t know when will this last
All I care is that this comes to pass
‘Coz I am hurting inside
Yet I try to hide
Those words…

Those words are hidden, unbroken
Until you can hear
My heart that’s screaming
In silence
And drowned in my tears
If you’d just hold me
And tell me
That all will be fine
I would let go of those words…
II.
Everytime I feel you near
My doubts start to break in
I know your love is something real
But I don’t know where to begin

I just can’t admit that i’m
Already lost in your love
But would you want to stay
If I try to say
Those words…

Those words are hidden, unbroken
Until you can hear
My heart that’s screaming
In silence
And drowned in my tears
If you’d just hold me
And tell me
That all will be fine
I would let go of those words…

I love you so…
I love you so…

flag-bearer-prev.jpg

The Flag Bearer
By Carisu

When a war broke out in the country and the need for soldiers were urgent, a young woman approached an army unit commander and told him, “I want to help the army, sir!”
 To which the officer smiled. “Do you know how to hold a gun?”
 The girl shook her head. “How about medicine? Do you know how to treat wounds?”
 The girl looked away. “I don’t know any of those things sir.”
 The soldiers overhearing them laughed in mockery, and the officer asked in deep thought, “How then can you help us?”
 “I’ll do anything you ask me to!” was the girl’s eager reply, to which the commander was moved.
 “Okay then,” he says, as he walked to the wooden flagpole nearby, with the country’s symbol waving in the banner. “You’ll be in charge of the most important task in the unit.” The officer took the pole from its deep thrust in the ground and handed it over to the girl. “You’ll be the flag bearer.”

 The soldiers laughed. “Flag bearer? What use is a Flag bearer in a battle?” they teased, thinking that their captain is kidding. But they were mistaken, and the girl took the flag with deep pride, and let it hung over her shoulders. “Thank you sir,” she answers stoutly. “Tell me now what to do.”
 “But captain!” on of the soldiers faltered. “She doesn’t know how to combat, if we send her to battle, she’ll just die out there!”
 “ENOUGH!” The captain glared at his deputy. “She wants to serve. Let her.”
 

The time came when the unit was called out to war. As every soldier was getting ready, the captain approached the girl and said, “There are two things I want you to remember. One,” he says, looking at the flag. “Take care of this flag as you would your life. Carry it with pride. See to it that whenever we lift our heads, we can glance at it. Second,” he took a serious look at her as he leaned over closer. “Do not die.” 
 And so the unit was sent out, and the fight was harsh. She did what she was told, waved the flag forth, to which the others can see, and dodged astray bullets as much as she could. The battle was in earnest, all gave their strength; but the enemies were too many that at the end, many of their soldiers died.
 When the hubbub passed on the flag bearer walked through the field of corpses, watching the familiar uniforms on her companions’ dead bodies. She also recognized, that her captain has fallen terribly wounded, that she rushed to him without further ado.
 “Captain!” She calls to him, hoping he is still alive.
 He was badly shot, and he was bleeding, but still he recognized her that he tried to stand up, even though all he could do now is to lean at her arms for the last time.
 “Captain!” She says to him one more time.
 “It seems you have done well,” The captain smiled through his blood stricken face, seeing that the flag pole hung over her shoulders and the banner mildly torn, still waving at the air.
 “Captain! What will happen now? What can I do?” She asks him, hoping to find a medic around to treat his wounds, but alas! As she discovers, she was the only one left standing through the smoke and blood scented ground.
 “There’s one more thing,” The captain says in his weakening tone. The girl looked at him eagerly, “Yes, just tell me and I will do I as much as I could!”
 “The flag,” The captain says. “Doesn’t just symbolize our country. It symbolizes our purpose—the reason why we’re here fighting; the reason why we we’re ready to give up our lives. Some people do not understand why they are here. Some are just forced, others are burdened with the responsibility of protecting their families, others have their own intentions, their own beliefs, and their own reasons. But this flag unites us—we are but one nation, and here in battle, we have but one purpose, one belief—we are one.”
 “Go, and wave this flag among those soldiers who still have no idea of why they’re here.” The captain commanded. “You see, when we find our purpose, we find our strength—we find hope. Even if we die, we die in dignity. We die fighting for what we believe.”
 And with this, Diwa’s journey begins.

—————————————————————

The flagbearer was writen during our country’s celebration of the Independence Day

I glanced at my watch. “11:32″ I grumbled as I saw the time. “I should’ve believe that hunch that they’re going to be late.”

I came to the meeting place right on time, but it seems worthless now. I tried to recall what Ghel said on the phone–”11 o clock, at ex-Papers, okay?” I moaned. It’s been 20 minutes since I was standing there. “They should’ve considered the fact that my celfone’s broken. If they’ve moved the time, they should’ve called me!” I thought. So I look up to the streets. “They should be here anytime soon…” I said, and scanned for the faces of those who pass by, hoping to find Ghel’s or Sheri’s; hoping to be saved from the humiliation of standing in front of a school supply store for more than half an hour. 12, I decided. If none of them shows up, I’m going home. If I weren’t feeling sick today, and my stomach’s not grumbling I wouldn’t be easily pissed off. Pray I wouldn’t be mean to any of them when they come!

People are looking at me now… I noticed. 11:43. Still no sign of them yet. “What a waste of time and effort this is!” I thought, as I remembered my morning’s preparation, scuffling out the house to get here on time. “If I wasn’t to get my celfone fixed I wouldn’t have come!” I tried to move but no– I’m not going home. At least not yet. Not until 12.

Then it happened.

There was a crowd passing by, but I noticed him. He wasn’t very handsome or what, like a prince comming in full array, he was just–ordinary. He too was looking at me, perhaps wondering why I stood there alone. Maybe I look stupid because I glance at my watch every minute or so. But can’t be wrong. He was looking at my direction. Even though his eyes were thin, chinese like, I can feel that sinking stare that made me look the other way. Embarassed though, I took a peek to get a good look at him. He was tall, and his hair was amazingly straight and wishped on his shoulders. Wow.
He’s cute.
I think I just spotted my first bishie, I smiled to myself. He kinda reminds me of someone though, I just forgot.

And oh my! He’s wearing slippers!

I gasped. But then he’s already found a jeepney to ride. He positioned himself in front, and I feel being reflected on the mirror he’s looking at.
This gives my the creeps. Have we already met?

I don’t know if we’ll meet again or what. The fact that there’s a bishie here in Malolos makes me happy. My friends came a bit later than 12.
But my waiting was all worth it.

NEVER ALONE*
The long and winding road never failed to cease
We spend our lives walking endlessly
Out in the cold night
And even if the rain had stopped the clouds
They scatter, covering the sunlight
We get lost in the dark

But now I’m not afraid
For I know everything will be okay

I’ll never be alone with you | by my side
I’ve got nothing to hide and I feel
That I can be myself tonight
You’re with me, it makes everything all right

Every moment stops when I hear your voice
Calling my name and it echoes
Inside my heart
Leaning on your shoulders, I find my strength
Even if we are both weary
Fighting struggles
Of our own

Don’t be afraid
The sun will shine on another day

I’ll never be alone with you by my side
I’ve got nothing to hide and I feel
That I can be myself tonight
You’re with me, it makes everything all right

Hey, my friend, I can feel your hands holding mine
Hey, my friend, you can see me cry but it’s just fine
I’m so glad you’re always here by my side
I’m never alone….

I’ll never be alone with you by my side
I’ve got nothing to hide and I feel
That I can be myself tonight
You’re with me, it makes everything all right

Hey, my friend, I can feel your hands holding mine
Hey, my friend, you can see me cry but it’s just fine
I’m so glad you’re always here by my side
I’m never alone…

Twilight
We struggle to find the answers
To bring an end to all the questions
In our hearts
We try to look but can barely see
From the mist and fog of uncertainty
I drag myself to dusk
And wait for the night to come

Chorus:
Until when are we waiting?
Heaven’s fading
Right in front of my eyes
I wanna be with you
Forever
Like the morning sun embraces
The darkness of the night sky
In twilight

I wonder if there’s a place and time
Destined for the two of us to meet
To love
Let’s go back to that endless dream
For everything seems very real to me
I hope
Are you feeling it too?

*Chorus

Bridge:
Would you take off your wings in flight?
Touch the ground and never leave my sight
Let’s run to that place
Where dreams and reality meet

Christianne Cruz | December 14, ‘06